“Eventually, one has to take sides if one is to remain human.”
-Mr. Hinh, The Quiet American
I got involved in facebook drama today. It revolved around my roommate and the end of her previous relationship. The relationship was abusive on many levels and her ex continues to find ways to continue abusing her even though they live in different states.
He has engaged in an ongoing attempt to isolate her by constructing a narrative that paints her as the stereotype in separations. He claims, always via facebook and never to her face where she can defend herself, that she cheated on him and is trying to keep him from his children. None of this is true. Unfortunately, because it neatly fits the stereotype, quite a few people believe it. The people believing it aren’t my issue. My issue are the few people in our friend group that are claiming that they are “neutral” and “not taking sides.” I finally snapped today and made it very clear that I saw no neutral ground here.
In situations where abuse is present, in personal matters or in larger global matters, there is no neutral. There is no “uninvolved.” If you know about it, you’re involved. If you choose the illusion of inaction, you are not just involved, you are implicated.
And I don’t want to police people by demanding they act as I see fit. I do realize that everyone has a limit of what they can do and what they can handle. I am just sick of this idea that we should remain above the bad things that people we thought we could trust do to those we claim to care about.
And I am still a bit pissed off at being accused of “starting drama for drama sake” because I was willing to make a goddamn decision and because I was willing to be involved.