Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Strike that...Reverse it

And now, my adoring fans, we get to play my favorite game.

That's right!

Its the "Logic is the Tool of the Devil" Game!

Lets meet today's contestant!

Say hello to Robert Peters. Robert is president of Morality in Media, an organization originally founded to combat pornography (like Cosmopolitan, which is of course porn in its purest form), and he is concerned, folks.

"It is my intention to point out that the success of the sexual revolution is inversely proportional to the decline in morality; and it is the decline of morality (and the faith that so often under girds it) that is the underlying cause of our modern day epidemic of mass murders."

Alright, he passes the qualifying round with a perfect 10 in "faith" based prattling! Extra points for sneaking it in under the guise of public concern and therefore making it that much harder for logical folks like you and me to point out the assumption that religious belief is the source of morality. Clever clever Robbie-poo!

Lets move on to round 2!

"This secular value system is also reflected in the 'sexual revolution,' which is the driving force behind the push for 'gay marriage;' and the Iowa Supreme Court decision is another indication that despite all the damage this revolution has caused to children, adults, family life and society (think abortion, divorce, pornography, rape, sexual abuse of children, sexually transmitted diseases, trafficking in women and children, unwed teen mothers and more), it continues to advance relentlessly,"

The crowd is tense...the judges are quietly conferring. Remember, in this round we are looking for a sense of self-righteousness, and the delusion of helping the helpless. False conflations are a plus, and it seems that Robbie will have this in the bag...Whats this? There seems to be a consensus...AND ITS ANOTHER PERFECT 10! THE CROWD GOES WILD! Wait...wait...wait, I'm getting a message from the judges that extra points were awarded for his complete and total waving away of the existence of these same societal issues well before his precious morality was threatened!

And now we move into the final evaluation round.

"It most certainly is not my intention to blame the epidemic of mass murders on the gay rights movement"

Oooh, and oldie and not quite goody. The set up for the "Why so srs?" defense, but with zero follow-through. This lack of originality and hedging is going to hurt his final score. The judges look disappointed, its sad. They were clearly expecting so much more from this contestant, and to find that hes only a blind rewind the likes of Jerry Falwell and Oral Roberts but without their sanctimonious belly-fire is almost crushing.

He still may have a chance in his all over score, remember folks, its cumulative so he may still have hope from those extra points awarded earlier.

It looks like the judges are returning, and its...its...a thumbs down! What an upset! Sorry, Robbie, but due to your tired old ignorance and recycled arguments, you will not be going on to the Champion round of our game! Robbie, I have to say, we in this sport truly do expect more from the Godbots than the stubborn ignoring that the crimes you want to blame on a "moral decline" are committed mainly by people who cling to those morals you cry about.

Join us next time for our champion round: "Logic Makes the Baby Jesus Cry," which will feature Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin going head to head in a knockdown, abstinence-only, librul conspiracy theory brawl!

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